In the Last Decade…

Y’all Listen, I cannot even believe it. Today is the TEN year anniversary of me..moving into my apartment! I had lived in a smaller one just across the pond (ok a man made lake) and I knew I was ready for the nicer place, the better area. This one even has a dog park! It meant a move that at the time seemed almost impossible. I didn’t have a car then; that will be a story for another time. I was moving with only myself and my tiny sidekick Waylon. I had plenty of help, some hired, but it really did feel like Independence Day.

I have long had an obsession with the Wizard of Oz. I loved, and still do love, the idea that even if it was just a dream; Dorothy went on this amazing adventure, and was always able to come back home. As I grew up, I still held onto that love of her and The Land of Oz. I think some may believe that I too, enjoyed a bit of wizardry in my younger years. I have been able to see many places and things. I assure you, a deployment is nothing like a vacation, but I digress.

If I haven’t mentioned it before, I was in the Navy. I only mention this now because moving was a part of my Life. From the ages of 18 to 28, I moved approximately 400 times. I went from my Mom and Daddy’s home to bootcamp, and from there, it seemed like a blur of packing up my shit and moving on again and again. I said more tearful goodbyes by the age of 30 than most folks do in their whole lives. I don’t know if that is better or worse. I do remember that early on, I was maybe 19 years old; my friends and I made a pact. We took a shot of this horrible gold speckled liquor in the old place, and promised to do it in the new place without each other. I have come to new traditions since then, however, if you see me moving..look out for cinnamon breath!

Ten years ago when I moved in, I had all the furniture from my previous marriage. It soon became a goal to replace it all, and make this a space that was just for me, and my new life. Just seven months after I moved in, I also started a new job at the Sheriff’s Office. I have a knack for doing things all in one shot!  I began figuring out what my own style was. I bought stuff for my screened in porch, redid the living room 37 times, and picked out new sheets. I hung pictures and took them down. I moved my new bed all over. In the space of maybe three or five years, I replaced all the furniture that was once a part of the old me. I chose classic cherry wood pieces and new colors. I liked art and pictures of me and my friends, so I created little art galleries in each room. I will say that I have never liked to have a picture of someone in my bedroom, it just felt like..they were looking at me. I actually built tables in here, I am pretty proud of that. I went from white to green to beige and added a hot pink wall in my bathroom. This was mine. It was what I wanted, no excuses and no exceptions.

When exactly DOES a house become a home? That was something that I did struggle with a bit early on. I knew that I wanted an eclectic look and feel, but it became a little..frat house. I had to learn over time the parts of my personality that were worthy of a place in my home. I purchased nice dishes and didn’t really use them for years( I didn’t always cook). There were pretty towels that seemed not to..fit in. I soon grew into having this place and knowing what it meant to just love the space that I lived in. I had many nights with Waylon on the couch watching TV on my old school huge Sony TV.  That was replaced soon also. I even got a TV for the bedroom, even though I don’t really like watching it in bed. That changed when I met my Husband, but-future posts to come!  I got a grill that I didn’t know how to use at first, I got plants that died in the Florida sun. I remember those early times fondly. I learned a lot before the days of Google.

For those that aren’t too familiar, let me tell you this. When I moved here, Waylon had only been with me about seven months. He was still sick, still didn’t really know me enough to trust me, and wasn’t walking up the stairs on his own. Imagine my surprise when I told the movers-no you don’t have to close the door, he won’t run outside, and he DID! This little puppy who did not like to run, and would never do steps, took off like a bolt of lightening! He ran, and then I ran. He went to the parking lot, so I went to the parking lot. He checked out the grass in the courtyard, and I did too. The more I chased him, the more he ran. He looked so happy; I had to laugh. This was the same doggy that wouldn’t even look at me and sat in the corner less than a year prior. I did stop him, as I was worried about the safety of our new surroundings. I sat at the bottom of the steps and said- Waylon, come here please Sir- and he came to a screeching halt to sit at my feet. This would become something between us. He knows that when I say Sir, Mommy means business. That day and many more after, he licked my face to tell me he loved me. He had the most adorable smile on his face, as if he was saying thank you for bringing him along with me.  He learned all his tricks here. If it was sit or shake or lay down, he has always amazed me at how smart he is, and how he adapted. I raised my boy in this home. He is snuggled and sleeping on “his” pillow and blanket on the couch next to me.

Somewhere, over time, we all acquire things about us that don’t make sense to some, and maybe we get them from our Parents and we don’t realize it. For me, it was the fact that after the huge parties and gatherings and cook outs and drinks fests; I didn’t want people here anymore. It’s not to say that I didn’t enjoy that time in my life, but I was just done for a moment. I feel the moment went on for too long, and entered a different place. I have some issues with anxiety, and I don’t trust easily. I shut my home away from nearly everyone for several years. I always thought that the last time was the last time that I let someone in. I wasn’t here all that much, and it looked like a model home almost. There was no food to be found, and you could hear a whisper in the hall of the girl that once had been so happy to live here. It was a sad time, and I am grateful to be on the other side.  My Husband knew me five months before he came here. I mostly remember that he sat outside, and asked me if I was alright with him coming inside. He also asked permission from Waylon, who really wanted to show him his toys and his pillow! Please know that if you have made it past the doorstep, past the cheerful door decorations,  into my home, you are special to me.

I have no idea how much longer I may live here. I feel like there is a home on our horizon that is much bigger than my one bedroom oasis. I didn’t know ten years ago that I would be married now, and thinking about leaving. Hell, I didn’t know ten years ago that I would still be here. This place has been kind to me over the years. Although the air conditioner spewed water, then died in the Summer,  and the ceiling has water spots, and there was that terrible bat incident. This home has seen me at my worst, and some of my best. I have mourned here, I have celebrated huge victories here. To the Last Decade I say, thank you 2612..you’ve done me proud.